Being able to make decisions is a form of ownership, and having ownership leans on being accountable for your decisions.   If we want people to be responsible for the health of the bodies they inhabit, to care based on like, not pressure or fear, they have to have the opportunity to practice making choices, and reflecting on the impact of those choices.  This is the essence of autonomy — the capacity to think for oneself, according to one’s values, and act on the power of free will.  More so than ever, given the modern yet antiquated school system, this skill needs to be taught to our young people.   They have been conditioned to go through the motions with the least path of resistance, needing continual feedback from others or authority on whether what they are doing is ‘OK’.

Though the importance of this theme runs through every class I am given the helm of, I will focus here on the environment of the weight room due to its more individualistic nature than that of traditional Physical Education.  Here, there is a general understanding of  the different abilities of different bodies, (based less on skill and more on experience) and where working on oneself is a generalized goal or assumption.  The development of self is you versus you.  There are very little rules or expectations; just a journey into your body that you can make as pleasant or punishing as you wish.

Principle #1 – Don’t take all of their time.

After switching to a block schedule last year, classes are currently 90 minutes.  Subtract 10 minutes for dressing down and another 5 to get the group to and from the weight room, and we still sit at 75 minutes of actionable class time.  Make the work outs short enough so that they have a decent chunk of that time to do what they wish (even rest).  Currently, focused, efficient lifting will get them through their program in approximately 40 minutes, depending on intensity level and recovery needs.

In a more traditional ‘meet every day’ scenario where class movement time leans toward 35 minutes, there might never seem to be an excess of daily time.  In this instance, consider giving them one day per week (or 20% of class) to do what they wish.  Don’t assume or judge what they will do with it.  Just offer and observe.  Draw lines and set boundaries if things get too crazy, and ask questions to those that seem frozen or lethargic.  Be interested in wanting to know what and why they choose what they do, and you will get infinitely better at other serving and building a relationship with them.  This, for the ones that prioritize it, is how everything gets harmonious and easy.

     DO: Build with them.

Leave gaps for them to fill.  Plan less.  Trust and allow that they know what they need and can show you what it is.  When they do, embrace it, and help them embrace having power and control (and the outcomes that come from it).

Principle #2 – Don’t make your things their things.

It’s not about you.  It’s not about you.

The old adage, “No ones cares how much you know until they know how much you care” isn’t true.  They care about what they care about, and though they are much more likely to try something you present to them if you have a relationship with them that is person first, content second, they’re much more into you than they are into it.  Can you toss them something bite-sized and immediately applicable and observe how they chew on it or spit it out?  Keep what is important to them centered, and you’ll take them farther than any particular notion you’re currently geeked out on.

      DO: Gather as much input from them as naturally possible.

Listen way more than you speak.  Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.  Collecting survey data is something, but it is mostly for others.  You will gain much more from casual conversations than you do from a Google form.  Just do your best to hear from everyone, not just the loudest and most willing to interact.

Principle #3 – Don’t overcoach.

Get out of their way.  Beware of overloading them with details they don’t have the experience to make meaningful.  Overwhelming them with information takes away from what they notice and find interesting.  This is always the place to build from.  If we make them fearful we screw things up.  Dogma gets ingrained from the tiniest seeds.  Don’t weed up their garden asking for a particular type of growth from a particular plant.  Repeating again and again that acting can be based on how things feel will do far more for injury prevention than you continually placing them in ‘brakes’ mode.  Paralyzing them with overwhelm helps nobody.

     DO: Let them try according to their own expression.

Turn them loose and let them go.  The first instruction I ever give is, “Play with whatever you want.”  They will naturally organize toward what they think they can/ want to do and linger hesitantly around that which is intriguing to them but they are skeptical about in some way.  It may take longer than it takes you to make a decision, but resist the urge to intervene.  Place yourself in their vicinity, smile, and perhaps reflect kindly on what you’ve noticed.  Make it clear you might be wrong, which gives them a chance to speak on their own behalf with a correction.  Should they ask a question, be so delicate and efficient with your response that it invites them to ask another.  This conversation with them represents the conversation you hope they can have with their own body.

In Part Two of this series, I will lay out the ‘What’ behind this ‘Why’ and ‘How’.

[Feature Photo by Mathieu Chassara on Unsplash.]