I’ve been teaching PE for twenty-three years.  I’ve seen and survived a lot of things, just as my students have.  The last five years have been particularly trying, both personally and professionally, culminating in a 2025 that rocked me to my core.  As I changed, the intentions behind class changed.  This is the way I think life works — experiences move you toward a different place of being, a different way of being, and this shifted approach and manner seeps out in everything you touch, and do, and notice.  It mirrors King Midas without the illusion of gold or a gift.  What you have might not be anything anybody else wants.

A next right step, then, would be to observe those you have received to serve without any prejudice of getting them to do something.  A class predicated on ‘physical education’ (which, let’s be honest, is judged by the amount of physical activity occurring in the room) presumes that young people (or any people, really) don’t know what to do with their bodies.  There is an external delineation between what is OK and what is not OK.  If a kid is told what to do and how to do it their whole life, are we really puzzled why they grow up to become confused adults that don’t know how to trust themselves?

This is where the health and fitness industry steps in and declares, “Here is a solution to your problem.”  But the problem is a cultural one.  It is an exploitive one.  It is a power dictating others “shoulds”.  They take true choice away and want you to be grateful for the ability to make a decision between two coerced options.

The education system is a direct determinant of what kind of people we should send out into the world.  It is a means of conditioning, guised as opportunity, simply because we start with us instead of them.  Cultivation works in a myriad of ways, and assumes we know better than what happens naturally.  This works for land, this works for people, this works for value-shaping.

I understand this because I did it.  I was/ am one of the powers that be.  I thought I was being quite clever in my manipulations — getting them to ‘eat their vegetables’ — but the reality is, it doesn’t matter what they do.  It doesn’t matter what they do.  And, if this is true, perhaps the best one could offer someone is to grant them the permission to do what they wish.

I no longer wish to trick them into compliance.  I am actually more drawn to their ability to say no and respectfully decline.  Can you say what you want and reject that which you don’t?  These are two very different skills, and they are hardly ever on the menu for possible consideration.

To the chagrin of my peers, I get a lot of kids who frequently decide to not dress down.  They fully understand and are aware that it effects their grade.  It is a systematic built-in ‘punishment’.  I don’t see the need to also socially ostracize them or take/make it personal by demeaning them.  I simply respect their decision.  Sometimes, should they apologize (as if it is an affront to me), I remind them that it’s okay, and that communicating “no” will not make me stop liking them.  Doing it with their actions acts as a bridge to doing it with their words, and that is the skill I am ultimately after.

One time, a boy in jeans asked me, “Why do you let us play?”  I asked him what he meant, and he continued, “if we don’t dress down, why do you let us play?”  “Because you being able to play is the point of this class.  I want it to be something I encourage, not something I allow.  The goal is to remove the barriers that get in the way of you interacting with things and people.”  He nodded and smiled.  “That makes sense.”  “I think so too.”

When this same kid asked me for a charger, or a pass, I give it to him without hesitation.  I am tired of the construct of only helping the “good kids” (translation: obedient).  A non-dressed student will wave high to me when he sees me.  I don’t put him down for making a decision.  The athletic trainer on campus only sees those who play sports for the school.  I make it known that I work with everybody.  The athletes in class with two PE’s and practice every day can’t ask for rest because it breaks the warrior code, but they can accept it if I offer.  I make the option of relaxing an acceptable one, and I note and watch how they consistently choose it.

Allowance is the gateway to acceptance.

We could learn a lot from elementary school and special education programs.  But too many consider them ‘less than’.  There is so much stacked against everybody.  Perhaps our most important role is to support beings over policies, and assist them in acknowledging the right one has to advocate for themselves.  If we hope for them to be responsible for their health, we have to expose them to the entire continuum of what it means to exist within a body so they can better recognize its needs.  Experience is the greatest teacher of all.